Introduction to “Keep Coming Back.” In this initial episode I discuss a bit of my own story, followed by my interview with Rob B. Age 42 and sober since 8/8/11. We explore how drinking touched his work life, affected his marriage, and his initial thoughts on recovery and AA.

…”at this point I’ve crossed the threshold. Alcohol was no longer about having fun. It’s not a social lubricant anymore, it was about not feeling the way I felt anymore. I would come home from work, drink beer, drink whiskey, smoke cigarettes , and pass out at 8pm so I didn’t have to feel anymore”

Dating in sobriety, fellowship, and sharing in the rooms of AA are all discussed in this interview with Nicole. She talks to what it means to “drink like a man” and explains the difference between a physical bottom and a “spiritual bottom”

“I was drinking around the clock”
“If you had my life you’d drink too”

Tom and I start at the end and work our way back. From his first meeting until the moment it finally clicked, we talk about what finally lead to the end of 30+ years of drinking.

Rehab at 15, then back to high school.
Rehab at 18, and now it sticks. Sydney and I weave through her story and focus on life in a rehab, willingness to change, and growing up with alcoholism in the family.

“We had these intentions, but drugs and alcohol got in the way of everything. I knew I’d lost the power of choice”

“I didn’t know how do do anything without drinking. I didn’t know how to date. I didn’t know how to hangout with friends…and in the beginning its very lonely.”

Allen is the only person in this podcast series who knew me when I was active. We met in 2007, and spend much of the interview reminiscing and remarking on just how different life is today for both of us.

There’s a reason so many alcoholics and addicts drank and drugged for too long…it wasn’t ALL bad. Trying to recapture some magic from years before, whether it be a feeling, or a sense of comradery is a common theme for many. In this interview Ella and I discuss the shift from drinking with friends to drinking in isolation, and how she made the decision to stop.

How does one navigate the 12-steps in moments when a belief in a higher power is waning or even non-existent? This is a question nearly everyone has struggled with at some point in sobriety. In this interview Farrell and I discuss his road to a rehab center, early enthusiasm for AA, and the “god” moments in his story

After years of sobriety, Lee O. took a break from AA. In this interview he discusses what lead to that break, what brought him back, and what keeps him coming to meetings after 13 years.

“5% of life is what’s happening to you, and 95% of life is how we react to it”

In the course of an hour, Ryan and I discuss the blackouts, the un-manageability , and the double life that comes with active alcoholism. In the back half we explored finding a relationship with a power greater then yourself and how that manifests in life today.

Born and raised in northern Louisiana , Stacy had spent time in two rehabs by the age of 19. During our time together we discussed the importance of sponsorship, her connection to a power greater then herself, and touch on why AA’s seem to continue to struggle with relationships

Comedy writer and comedian Bill S. reflects on 24 years of sobriety in today’s interview. We touch on growing up in a large Jewish family, his late-wife and the influence her sobriety had on him, and Bill provides some nostalgic tales from early days in recovery.

How does one go bankrupt?
Two ways, first gradually, and then suddenly
_E. Hemmingway

In part one of my interview with Julia, we discuss all the events leading to day 1 of her recovery. From drinking, to pill addiction, to smoking crack cocaine, the conversation spans being a daughter, a wife, and a mother in active addiction.

Last we left off Julia M was starting day 1 in her recovery. Over the next 30 minutes she describes her initial impressions of recovery rooms and describes how she stays sober today.

What’s it like being the only sober guy in your college fraternity?
What’s it like living in not 1 but 2 halfway houses before the age of 22?
Harrison and I discuss how a young man navigates socially, romantically and professionally during the course of our interview.

“I had one roommate who was brutally honest with me. He told me “you smell terrible. You smell like the homeless guy on the train that everyone moves away from”
The first episode of 2020 discussed the recent Op-ed in the NYT entitled “The Patriarchy of Alcoholics Anonymous” and then discusses Steven’s journey, including his views on why Asian-culture seems to be underrepresented in 12-step recovery.

They suggest you don’t date in your first year of sobriety…
“But what if I meet the girl of my dreams?! Technically I could miss out!”
Ben R. has never had a legal drink, and we discuss the trials and tribulations of college, dating, and family when a person gets sober before turning 21.

“I was so isolated. I was shackled to the bad things that has happened in my life, and I didn’t know how to NOT talk about it.

“I had far crazier things, and by that i mean giant red warning signs saying “YOU NEED TO STOP DRINKING” long before i walked in the room of AA”

“I’ve been divorced, bankrupt in three countries, I’ve been in trouble with the law…….but my rock bottom was purely emotional…i was exhausted.””

“I lost total control. I really could not handle myself. I was doing drugs before work, at work, and that went on for about 3 years when I then had a very public blackout.
Literally everybody that I didn’t to see me that way saw me blacked out, and it was the first time I realize I could lose everything I worked so hard for”

Melissa S is a trans woman, sober nearly thirty years, and transitioned three decades ago. We spoke about being a trans woman in recovery, what her bottom looked like, and her appreciation of sobriety a recovery.

“I looked in the mirror….I looked into my eyes….and I saw nothing. I’d lost self control, a sense of self, and I didn’t want to live that way anymore.”

Aaron C. was born in Mexico and migrated at age 8. He moved all over the country, eventually becoming a veterinary technician at age 16, gaining access to a plethora of pet-meds. We discussed the arc of his story, self harm, recovery, and the role “machismo” can play in a Latin man’s life

“No one picked up the phone that day. Not my friends, not my sister, not my mother. Look where i am?! I’m in a hospital bed, and it’s my birthday!